Blogged by Brandon Hefley as Uncategorized — Brandon Hefley Tue 4 Sep 2007 11:35 pm
Going to Vegas
This isn’t the wildest Vegas tale ever told.
It doesn’t end
in an orgy
in the Wynn penthouse,
or like a friend of mine’s:
on acid,
tasered and thrown in a psychiatric hospital.
Damn…
Now i don’t even know why i’m bothering to write about this…
Tom and I drove up in his car
and we got to Vegas in four hours,
not bad for the traffic
and the uncountable
near accidents
created by
rich retirees
driving mercedes
benzes
at the seat of their pants,
and a midlife crisis plastic surgeon
tailgating big rigs in a beemer
in the right lane
cutting off cars in the left lane
causing near chain reaction accidents,
i was ready to flip him off
and shake my fist at him if
he tried to cut us off
rushing to make his appointment
with a high class call girl
he got on discount
in exchange
for some surgery.
Fuck him, driving to kill everyone.
New York New York lobby.
I lit a smoke
and watched our bags
and people go by
while Tom bought the room.
We got to the room and
watched the roller coaster from the window,
then went and cruised around between
New York New York
MGM
and the Tropicana.
The Tropicana’s falling apart.
I could see the Trop.
as the next in line to be dropped
and replaced.
I watched full grown
19 month old lions
in the MGM lion’s den
eat meat from the hands
of their trainers.
Then went back to the room at NyNy and called Alex
my little homie
celebrating his 21st birthday,
the reason I came to Vegas,
and left him a voicemail:
“What up Alex? It’s Brandon. I’m here in Vegas. Where you at? Hit me up bro! Late.”
He called back ten minutes later,
“What up Alex?”
“What up Brandon?! You came out here?”
“For sure bro. Where you at?”
“The Tropicana, but we’re about to go to ESPN Zone. You wanna meet up for dinner?”
“Hell yeah. I’ll meet you in front of it.”
“I’ll call you when i leave.”
“Alright later bro.”
“Late.”
Tom and I chilled outside the ESPN Zone
and watched the Angel game on one of the sportbook tv’s.
Then Alex and his dad
and two of Alex’s best friends,
Josh and D’Rick
rolled up.
We ate dinner,
had beers
and watched the Angel’s win.
We went out and
played some slots
at NyNy
and got some drinks
went to MGM
where no drinks came for 30 minutes
and went to the Trop.
and i got a beer
and black label
on the rocks
and lit an
American Spirit
cigarette in my mouth.
It got lame there.
The Tropicana’s depressing
and run down.
We went back to NyNy.
It was 12:30am.
Alex got a call from his brother Dave.
“They’re at Stateline.”
A half hour later we saw Dave and Eric walking through the casino.
They went to play some Blackjack,
I played some video poker,
then we cruised around,
played some more,
got some more drinks,
then called it a night,
Got back to the room
at NyNy
and passed out drunk on the floor
at 5am.
The first night’s a warmup.
I didn’t go for it all crazy.
I’m trying to learn
how to enjoy myself
in Vegas
in a different way.
I probably only lost 60 bucks the first night
and that was just enough
to keep a decent amount of drinks in me.
Woke up two hours into my unconsciousness
and pulled the comforter from Tom’s bed
and slept for two more hours.
Tropicana Pool
I told Dave, Eric, and Tom
that the Tropicana had a better pool than NyNy,
and when they saw it they agreed,
with a swim up black jack table,
bar,
and all that.
We found some lounge chairs pool side
and they went off to get drinks.
“Bring me a margarita.” Yeah.
I didn’t bring any trunks,
my trunks are at the beach house
inside a box outside on the deck..
I chilled with my shirt off
in my Dickies shorts
reading the last chapters of
Dr. Ronald Mallett’s Biography.
They came back ten minutes later with
drinks inside massive
plastic football sized containers.
“Here’s your margarita.”
“What the fuck?”
I took a long sip from the oversized blue straw hanging out of it.
Margarita’s taste like lemonade in 110 degrees.
My drink was bright green, their’s was dark red.
“What’d you guys get?” I ask.
“A fuckin’ Volcanic Eruption!” Tom said with a big smile.
“What’s in that shit?”
“Blackberry rum and 151.”
“Damn that’s gonna FUCK you up.”
“Hells yeah.” He said and took a drink.
“Try it.”
He hands it to me and i take a fat drink.
“Damn, don’t drink it all man!”
“I’m going to have to get one of those next.” I said
And took a drink from my margarita.
They went in the pool with their giant plastic football cups
and i chilled reading my book in the sun.
I finished a chapter and got up.
I was almost done with my drink.
They came back out of the pool,
drinking on pace with me.
“I’m buzzin.” Dave said.
“I bet motherfucker.” I said.
“Come on lets get more drinks.” Eric said.
And him and Dave go off to get more drinks.
“Ah fuck it. I’m gonna get one of those rum drinks.”
“A Volcanic Eruption? That shits good!” Tom says.
“Alright lets go get some when they get back.”
They get back
And I go get mine
and sure enough
the bartender pours two shots of 151
on top.
I went back to lounge and read my book,
Eric was talking to the chick sitting behind me
But he took off into the pool with Tom and Dave as soon as i got back.
I’m about halfway through my drink.
Eric comes by and says
“Whats up?”
“Just chilling. Where’s the other guys?”
“Getting more booze.”
Then he walks past me
and starts hitting up the chick behind me.
It sounds like he’s being funny and she’s laughing,
i’m reading about closed time-like loops.
Then he says, “You should talk to this guy! He’s reading about physics!”
Then he takes my book and shows her.
“See, he’s reading a book on Time Travel. What are you reading?”
“In-Touch.” She says.
He gives me back my book.
“She’s reading In-Touch magazine!”
“I don’t give a fuck what’s she’s reading bro.”
He talks to her a little more then goes back in the pool.
I finish another chapter
put the book down
and walk to the bridge by the pool.
They see me standing up there and swim over.
They’re drunk.
Dave’s cat calling chicks as they walk by on the bridge,
“Owwwwwww!”
I was laughing my ass off.
“Dave’s killing the game out here.” I said. “But it’s funny as hell.”
I went back and started the last chapter
and finished my drink.
bypassing certain things
during their third refill
I’ll say that Tom was talking to some chick
but was all drunk
and acting like a dick
and he came out of the pool
as Rich likes to say,
‘three sheets to the wind’
bitter about the whole experience.
“She has a fucking 12 year old dude.”
“Damn, she must have been young.”
“17.”
“That’s not a big deal if she’s got a kid. You gonna hit her up later?”
“No. I was like ‘lets meet later on tonight.’ and she was like, ‘For dinner?’ And i was like ‘no, later on tonight.’
“And she got offended?”
“Yeah bro!”
I started laughing my ass off.
“Dude you’re fucking wasted!”
“I’m cool.”
“You can’t expect to get laid this early, its 5pm, you guys are the only assholes drunk right now.”
Alex and his boys showed up about this time.
“What up?” Alex said.
“Just chillin. Your brother’s wasted.”
“That dumbass. I told him to wait ’til tonight. Let’s go smoke a blunt.”
“Alright. We gotta go to NyNy to get my shit.”
Trying to Make it to Dinner
Everyone piled into the room at NyNy.
Tom and Dave were the worst off,
ranting and rambling about shit
and acting drunk.
Turned out Eric only had two like me.
Everyone but Eric smoked some weed and
I took a cell video of Tom stumbling around the room.
Then he collapsed on the bed.
“Go in the bathroom and throw up, dude. Get all that shit out of your stomach and I guarantee you’ll feel better in a half hour.”
“No.”
“Come on man, drink some water and sober up. We’re going to dinner at the steakhouse.”
“No. I don’t want to go.”
“Are you kidding me dude? Eric try to get him to drink some water or something.”
“Get up and take a shower!” Eric yelled.
“Uhhhhhh!” Tom groaned.
“How you doing Dave, you ready for some dinner?”
“I’m not eating anything.”
“You gotta eat something.”
“No.”
I grabbed dave around his shoulder and told him,
“Dude you’re going to miss out on one of the best steaks you’ll ever eat.
Come on man. throw up if you have to, drink some water, and enjoy a beautiful dinner.
You’ll feel a hundred times better after you eat.”
“Alright lets go.” Dave mumbled.
“Try to get him to drink some water. We’ll be back man.” I said to Eric,
and we left Eric to try to sober up Tom
at NyNy.
It’s Alex, Josh, D’Rick, me,
and Dave, drunk as a motherfucker,
in an elevator.
A really pretty blonde girl
in a bikini
with toes painted pink
steps into the elevator with us.
I see a look of fear in her eyes when she sees Dave,
and quickly turns away
then i look at Dave
and he’s got a big sloppy
wet stain on his shirt.
“You’re a monster Fairman!”
I start laughing.
Josh and Alex laugh.
And that girl wasn’t so afraid anymore and laughed too.
First thing we did was go to the gift shop
so Dave could get some water.
He managed to make the transaction himself
and we headed for the Trop.
As we ascended the escalator to the bridge
leading from NyNy
to the MGM
Dave was becoming more and more belligerent.
“I don’t give a fuck what any of these people think!
All these people are going to remember is some fucking drunk guy
they saw when they were in Vegas!”
Alex and I were rodeo clowns
trying to herd a 240 pound
liquored up beast back to
the Tropicana.
I took a cell video
of his ranting
like a fucking maniac street person
as we crossed the bridge from the MGM
to the Tropicana.
“Fuck all these people! All these sheep! I don’t care if I’m the drunk guy they’re all going to remember!
You think i give a fuck?!”
He directs that last one at someone going past us.
“Time to chill out bro.” I say.
“Yeah, you’re acting like how stupid motherfuckers get when they’re drunk fool.” Alex said.
“I’m not acting anything.”
“You’re being an idiot right now.
You’re going, ‘Fuck the People, fuck the people!” Alex says.
“Fuck the people!”
“Dude, don’t get yourself arrested.” I say.
“I’m not gonna get arrested.”
“Alright then cool.” I say.
And by this time
we were inside the Tropicana
and Alex had his arm around Dave
and they were having a little
conversation between brothers.
We made our way down the halls with
7′ foot ceilings falling apart just above us
and took the stairs up
because the elevator at this hotel
takes one level a minute
so to save time
we entered a
stairway reeking of
human excrement
and the
the smell of a hooker’s
cheap perfume,
the essence of
Tropicana 2007.
Who knew it’s owners would let it
become a postapocalyptic nightmare.
Back at the room
I took some hits of Kush
with the boys
and Dave took a shower.
“Take a quick one man.”
“I take long showers.”
“Make this the quickest one of your life.”
“I’ll try but I might fall asleep in there.”
“I know how that goes…”
“Knock in ten minutes in case i pass out.”
“Alright. I’ll give you fifteen.”
He got out on his own in ten minutes
And seemed rejuvenated.
“I feel good.”
“Cool man.”
“I hope Tom’s doing alright over there.”
“I hope so too… Jesus dude, you fucking pulled it out. You were out of control for a while.”
“Yeah he was.” Josh says and laughs. Dave smiles.
“Once you get some dinner in you, you’ll be doing good.” I say.
“You’re right.” Dave says.
“See, that’s why i didn’t start drinking yet.” Alex says.
“Yeah, yeah.” Dave says.
“Wow, it’s only 8:30.” I say.
“Call Eric.” Dave says.
I call Eric…
“Eric’s making reservations for Gallagher’s. He’s going to call me back.”
“How’s Tom doing?” asks Dave.
“He’s still fucking wasted.”
“Ah man.”
Eric calls back.
“We have a 9:30 reservation for Gallagher’s.
Tom’s still laying in bed.”
So we head out back to the NyNy
with Alex and Dave’s dad with us,
cross the bridges,
and make our way
to the dryaged display case
in front of the Restauraunt.
I call Eric:
“Dude, he doesn’t want to get up. (to Tom) Get up god damn it!”
“Fuck, should i come up there?”
“I think you should.”
“Alright late.”
I inform everyone else of the situation:
“We have fifteen minutes until our reservation. Tom’s still in bed all wasted.
Should i go up there?”
The consensus was not to;
the consensus was
“We’ll go up there and fuck with him after dinner.”
And then Eric showed up
and we went inside and had dinner
at an awesome steakhouse.
I think everyone ordered the dryaged New York
except Eric, who got a fat ribeye.
I ordered mine medium
and got it medium rare
and ate it.
I also got a side of brocolli augratin
which turned out to be a massive head of broccolli
with a fat gob of thick cheese sauce on it.
I ate that whole thing, as opposed to the steak
which i left raw pieces of on my plate.
“This is the best steak i’ve ever eaten.” Dave said.
Then five minutes later he was asleep at the table.
Their Dad went back to the Tropicana
and we went upstairs
and there was Tom
in bed
not even passed out,
just drunk and moaning.
“I think he’s depressed about the chick at the pool.” Eric said.
“Are you kidding me?
Forget about that bitch and get your ass out of bed, we’re going out dude. Look at Dave, he recovered.”
“Come on Tom!” Dave says,
then somersaults over him
“Come on Tom!”
then runs around the bed and somersaults over him again.
I bunched a pillow up into a tight ball.
We smoked some weed and headed out.
“Hey Tom you want me to turn the light off?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I hit the lights and
threw the pillow at his head.
Glitter Gulch
“How are we going to do this? You and Eric in a cab and me and my brother and his friends?” Dave asks.
“That works.” I say.
We stepped outside and looked around for a second.
The maître d’ asked me,
“How many are you?”
“Six.” I said.
“How about a limousine for tonight?”
“How much?”
“Where you going?”
“Golden Nugget.”
“Seventy. Thats about ten per person.”
“Alright let me go get these guys.”
I told them and since
Dave wanted to do something nice for his brothers birthday
he paid for the limo,
and we rolled downtown
in white stretch style.
“I wanna go to a strip club.” Alex said.
“Lets go to Cheetah’s.” Dave suggested for the fifth time on the trip.
“Glitter Gulch is right in downtown. It’s famous. We should check that out.” I say.
“Yeah with the cowgirl kicking her leg.” Josh says.
“I’m down.” Says Alex.
“That sounds good.” Dave says.
And then we pull in front of the Golden Nugget
and the driver opens the door
and we pile out.
We cruised inside Binions to check out the
World Series of Poker Winner’s pictures on a wall.
In the 70’s they looked like Texas oil tycoons
and members of La Cosa Nostra,
in the 80’s they looked like coked-up businessmen,
and the 90’s through the new millenium
the characters are pretty random and diverse.
On the way out there was a dance floor
with one person dancing on it.
Josh laughed at it.
I told him,
“This is the essence of downtown vegas.
This.
And the strip club.”
“Lets go to the strip club!” Josh said.
“Hell yeah. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I said.
Everyone agreed and we left Binion’s.
We watched the light show on the giant ceiling outside.
When it ended, the lights came back on to the club
and we went inside.
A giant black man bouncing the door
checked our ID’s
and stamped our hands.
It was dank inside,
low-light
seventies style,
blue and gold lights,
burgundy and brown,
the kind of place i like.
I paid the lady up front
for my two drinks,
she gave me twenty ones in my change
and I followed everyone to
where they sat us:
our own personal
little dance stage.
I felt kind of uptight at first.
I hadn’t been in a place like this
since i was 18
and that was off a dirt road
near Havasu
and i was overwhelmed
with the Holden Caulfield
hooker complex
and felt sorry as hell
for those poor girls
dancing naked in a shitty place in the desert.
That feeling was coming back to me here.
The first dancer was a waif
and she had her nipples pierced
and one trick she would do
would be to stand on her hands with her legs spread in the air,
another trick she did was
light two matches
and clip them two her nipple rings
then swirl her titties around.
When your drunk
it’s funnier than hell.
I threw a dollar at her when she did that.
D’Rick immediately got swooped up for a lap dance.
I don’t even think he really looked at her,
she just came up behind him
and next thing he’s
walking back to the VIP room.
Fucking hilarious. We all laughed.
“He’s easy, what’s his name?” Another stripper said.
And then the next chick was this ghetto booty
gangsta black chick.
She came out with the hip-hop video gangsta shit
and started poppin’ her ass
Alex and Josh started clapping.
Alex was going, “Clap-clap, clap-clap!”
It was crazy, her ass was going
PLAP-PLAP-PLAP-PLAP-PLAP-PLAP!
She got some of my ones for sure.
I was loosened up after that
and the Holden complex was dissappearing.
The next chick tripped me out.
She had a perfect voluptuous body
and soft pretty face.
I held out a dollar
and she squatted down
and showed me her pussy
for that dollar.
Wow, this game’s way better than blackjack!
She didn’t flash anyone
else at the table
so i was digging that,
the hottest dancer in the club
vibing me,
she was super hot,
she got some of my ones for sure.
While she was dancing all sexy right in front of me
some other stripper
tried to swoop up and put her arm around me,
“Hey baby you want a dance?”
Without turning around i was like,
“No, I’m enjoying the show.”
The stripper dancing in front of me was all smiling at me
after I blew off that other chick.
The next dancer
was another hip-hop ghetto booty black chick.
She was poppin that ass too,
and she was getting Alex and Josh going
both of them clapping
laughing, saying,
“Clap-clap! Clap-clap!”
After her
they both took off
with the big booty black gangsta chicks.
The next chick was kinda gnarly.
I didn’t even sit down for her.
The chick after that was supercute.
She had a perfect soft body and breasts
and she wore a pair of little fuzzy red devil horns.
I sat back down.
Alex, Josh, and D’Rick were back.
This chick played it coy.
Josh laughed and told her,
“Come on, don’t be shy.”
I thought she was really sexy
and had a great smile.
“The shy thing works.” Alex says.
She started opening up
and took her top off and she leaned in and said
“I love your glasses.”
“I like your smile.” I said
“That’s so sweet, you made me blush!”
And she smiled and i smiled back.
Wanna make a stripper blush?
Tell her you like her smile.
“I have glasses like that. Should i wear them?”
“Yeah, I think that’s sexy.”
She took my old school Angels hat off and turned it sideways
and danced her beauitful body
about the little stage
and then the
hottest stripper in the club
came up and asked,
“Do you want a dance?”
And without hesitating i was like,
“Yeah lets go.”
And i bailed on the sexy girl dancing on the little stage in front of me.
“Come on my LB gangster.”
She led me by the hand to the VIP room.
It was dark blue inside
and guarded by another
giant black bouncer
built like Donkey Kong.
She sat me down on the couch.
I took my hat and glasses off
and she sat on my lap
waiting for the next song to start.
We made small talk
and I asked her
“How long have you been in Vegas?”
“About six months.”
“Where’re you from?”
“Hawaii.”
“No way.”
Looking at her face,
she looked half white, half hawaiian for sure.
“Alright…”
“Have you ever been?” She asked.
“No. I want to go though. I’m chilling living in California, so it’s not a big deal.”
“Yeah, Hawaii and Cali are the best places to live.”
“Yeah i think so… So what do you do when you’re not dancing?”
“I don’t know, travel and dance.” She laughed.
“No, that’s cool.”
And then a new song started
and she began to do what she likes to do best,
dance her perfect body in front of strangers for money.
She got down in front of me
and ran her nails up my legs
inside my shorts.
Part of the tease,
’cause she got close to grabbing my cock
and then she acted like she was gonna bite my bulge
but didnt…
Then she got up
and started dancing in my face,
running her perfect hard nipples
across my face and lips.
I started going with it,
and felt her perfect smooth warm legs,
and ran my hands over her ass,
Donkey Kong yelled,
“Hey keep your hands to yourself.”
The hawaiian chick smiled at me like she liked it.
I don’t give a fuck, i’m not gonna get kicked out,
but i’m going to push this as far as the chick will let it.
When she turned away from me, i felt her ass
when she turned toward me and put her nipples in my face,
i kissed her nipples,
and when she pressed her navel to my lips
i stuck my tongue out
and she slowly dragged her body down my tongue
until i was between her tits,
and i gave her a soft kiss there,
and she smiled and changed her dance up,
throwing her legs over me,
then grinding my lap,
it seemed like no time when she whispered.
“That was two songs, you want two more baby? Make it an even hundred?”
I thought about it for a moment.
“Yeah lets keep going.”
Fuck it, i would have lost it playing craps.
So she resumed her beautiful dance
on top of me,
and once again began running he perfect nipples
over my lips,
lustful instincts overwhelm me,
and i start laying soft
kisses on her nipples
breasts
and tummy.
She leans over me like
if this were real
she’d be making out with me like crazy,
she had that look in her eyes
and her lips slightly parted
as she straddled me
looking at my eyes,
i returned the look,
and she started grinding on me,
and i gave back,
she was getting off,
i could hear her gasping,
i grabbed her ass
and grinded her harder against me
she was moaning softly,
“Hey, what’d i tell you dude, keep your hands off the girl!”
I looked past her and saw Donkey Kong giving me the look of death
for grabbing her like that.
And she was smiling so sexy at me after.
I figured strike three he kicks me out of the club.
So i waited until he was distracted,
and ran my hands over her thighs like she wanted.
It probably turned her on
that i didnt give a fuck about
the huge bouncer.
I’ll jiu-jitsu his barrel tossing ass to sleep.
My four songs were over.
She gave me a little kiss on the cheek.
She was still digging it and smiling at me.
“That was hot.” She said.
“Yeah it was.” I said.
I handed her her purse after she snapped her bra back on.
“You’re the hottest chick in here.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “Come visit me next time you’re in Vegas.”
“Haha, for sure. Hey, my little homie just turned 21, he said to bring you by when i was through.”
“Oh yeah? He just turned 21?”
“Yeah.”
“Walk with me over there.”
I followed her out,
but when we got back to the table, he was gone.
“I guess somebody swooped him up. Thanks for the dance.”
I gave her a hundred.
“Thank you.”
And she gave me a hug and i went into cool guy mode for a while,
sitting in the back, drinking a beer
smoking American spirits,
feeling too cool to blow anymore money.
I noticed Eric still had the same chick clinging to him;
blonde chick with a mole on the tip of her nose.
She was a party chick, wanted to hang out and shoot the shit
and try to get a lap dance out of Eric every twenty minutes or so.
I told her,
“He’s a black belt in Kung Fu.”
“Oh really?? Show me!”
And she starts punching at Eric.
“Come on…” Eric says.
“You crazy chick, you really want him to do something?” I say.
“Yeah!”
And she punched at him again and he grabbed her all quick
kung fu style.
“See no bullshit.” Dave said.
Eric laughed and let go.
“That was awesome!” She says.
And then she drags him off for a lapdance.
I sit down again
away from the bar
smoking a cigarette
in chill mode.
I’m not even really checking out all the topless chicks walking around anymore,
except i did notice the girl with the devil horns from earlier.
She walked up and kinda stood near me,
wearing a short schoolgirl skirt
and finally caught my attention.
I looked up and saw her and she smiled,
“I’m wearing my glasses.”
“They look great.”
“Thanks.”
I looked down and took a puff of my cig
and let her strut away, trolling for lapdances.
I returned to brooding about things,
life,
stuff i want to write.
“Go tell him he has a big dick in french!” Alex tells a petite little blonde chick.
She comes over and sits across my lap.
“Avez-vous un grand robinet?”
“Oui-oui.”
“Oh you speak French?”
“No. I thought you asked me if i had a big dick in French.”
“I did ask you. Well do you?”
“Yeah.”
“I want to feel it.”
“Oh yeah? You’re a dirty french girl.”
“I’m from Montreal.”
“Quebecoi?”
“Oui.”
I laughed.
“Hey, i’m done getting dances for the night. Where we’re you earlier?”
“Some couple bought me up on the otherside for like an hour.”
She was warm and sexy, and curled up in my lap like a kitty cat.
We talked a little more about mundane stuff like normal people then i told her nicely,
“Hey, i don’t want waste your time cause i dont plan on getting anymore dances for tonight.”
“Ok.” She said, and kissed me on the cheek, and got out of being all comfortable in my lap.
“Go make that money.” I said.
Most of the strippers could tell i was just chilling
and left me alone.
One stripper was this big blonde
talking to her boss
and he was giving her shit for not trying hard enough to get lapdances
so she asked me all surly,
“Hey, you want a dance?”
“No thanks, i’m chilling.”
“See, he doesn’t want one.”
And then she went to the bar
and started chatting up someone she knew.
I saw Dave return from getting a lapdance.
“Where’s your brother and his friends?”
“I don’t know.”
“Damn they’ve got to be blowing a shitload of money on lapdances if they’ve been gone this long.”
Dave turns around at the bar and says,
“Is that Alex??”
And i turn around and scan the lapdance booths,
and stop when i see two big black ghetto booties
bouncing up and down…
in Alex’s face!
“Haha, that is Alex!”
And me and Dave got closer
so we could watch.
He looked like the happiest guy I ever saw,
he was laughing
going
“Make that shit clap!”
They clapped their asses up and down in front of his face.
One of them slaps her own ass
and then Alex rears back and smacks her ass.
“Yeah Alex!” I yelled.
They kept on jiggling their asses.
He was laughing going “Yeah!”
The whole club was watching
And he smacks the other stripper’s ass.
It was cool as fuck.
Alex blew the place up with that shit.
Then Dave joined him and they danced for both of them on the couch
and started poppin their asses
and Alex and Dave reared back
and smacked that ass.
I was going to hang out as long as Alex wanted to
since it was his birthday.
I hung out with Dave and Eric, and that stripper chick with the mole that was clinging to Eric.
Alex came over,
passing Donkey Kong,
saying, “Whats up man!”
All happy.
The bouncer nodded his head at him a surly ‘whats up.’
“Fuck that guy.” I said.
“Nah, he’s the homie, I wanna make friends with everybody here!”
“Alright then, fuck it.”
“One fool was telling me how he broke up with his girl yesterday,
and showed me his tattoo on his neck, that shit said, ‘Trust No Bitch.’”
“That sucks for him.”
“Hell yeah it does.” Alex laughed.
“Where’s your boys at?”
“They went to a bar across the street.”
“I was going to say, those fools are getting mad lapdances.”
“Nah… I wanna tip this bartender fat. He’s busting his ass. Watch this.”
“Two Corona’s my friend!”
The bartender didn’t pay attention, and he continued making the drinks he was making,
then flew over with two corona’s for Alex.
“What did i tell you! This guys fucking awesome! Thank you my friend! I love this place!
I’m coming back in October. Are you coming?”
“I’m down… Dude you fucking blew the place up with that double lapdance you got.”
“That’s what’s up!” He slaps me five. “Those chicks are awesome! I gave them a hundred and told them ‘Let everyone know we’re here! Make that shit hot!’”
“It worked bro, everyone in the club was watching. I bet the black chicks were saying, ‘Damn, you crazy, white boy.’”
“Yeah they were. I told them i was coming back in October and they said they wanted to party.
She said she’d fuck me, bro that’s what’s up!”
“She wants to fuck the crazy little white boy huh? For how much?”
“Nah, they’re just down to party.”
“Oh yeah? Damn you’re living your hip-hop fantasy.”
“Hell yeah!”
“When do you want to get out of here?”
“I want to get one more lap dance, then we’re outtie.” He said.
Then he got up and started mingling around again.
I look
across the bar,
a marborolo man
about twenty-eight,
sinewy,
ruggedly handsome
with skin tanned and leathered
from work outdoors
and marlboro red smoke.
It looked like my dad when he was young
and so i couldn’t bare the sight of him anymore.
I lit another cigarette and hung out
waiting for Alex.
The chick with the glasses
was on the main stage,
and i still had ones in my pocket,
so i said fuck it and sat down and gave her a one.
She leaned over and said,
“I know you probably don’t believe this, but you’re my favorite.”
“I don’t, but you’re my favorite, and i know you don’t believe that.”
I gave her another buck and a blonde dancer came over
and put her big tits in my face
and got a couple ones out of me.
Then i got up and gave the glasses chick another one as i was walking by
just for the hell of it.
She grabbed it with her hand.
I went back to the bar. We we’re still waiting for Alex.
“I just got a dance from that chick over there.” Dave said and pointed her out. “They played Closer and More Human than Human. It was hot. She’s smokin!”
She had jet black hair and a couple red cherries tattooed on her pale white skin.
“Yeah i bet she was digging dancing to those songs.”
“Yeah she was getting into it.”
“You know what? Fuck it. I’m going to buy one more lap dance before we go.
But only with the chick in the glasses.
If I see her, i’ll get one.
If Alex comes back first then fuck it.”
Then i saw her in the back of the club.
As i was walking past the bar to go talk to her,
the Hawaiian chick saw me and said,
“Hey baby.” And smiled.
“Whats up girl?” I said and kept walking toward the glasses chick.
She was cashing in the money she just got.
“Hey whats up? Are you on break or something?”
“No. Why?” She smiled.
“I got twenty-five on a lap dance if you want.”
“Ok, give me a second.”
And she finished changing in her ones,
and grabbed me by the hand and sat me down in a booth.
she straddled my left leg and sat her perfect ass on it.
I could feel the damp heat of her
pressed against my thigh.
“So what do you do when you’re not dancing?”
“I go to school.”
“Oh yeah? I could tell there was something going on up there.”
“Yeah, opposed to most of the other girls here.”
“What are you studying in school?”
“Psychology?”
I laughed. “Figures. That shit worked on me.”
She laughed.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m here and your sitting on my leg. Thats what i mean…
I’ve got degrees in Creative Writing and Film.”
“I was going for a minor in Film.”
“Oh yeah, what aspect, like acting or production?”
“Production.”
“That’s cool. What school do you go to?”
“UNLV.”
“I kinda figured.”
“I’m also an artist.”
“Oh yeah what kind of art? Like painting?”
“Painting. I’m working on a tree made of dead bodies. I started it before 300 came out though.”
“I dig that. Do you have a website or something where i could see your work?”
“I do. I’m actually kind of famous on the internet.”
I was thinking oh yeah? You’re one of those 100,000 myspace friends people?
“Whats the website.”
“I’m not supposed to give it out, i’ll get in trouble.
It’s more like a blog though.”
“I’ve got a blog too. I write poetry.
I almost had a book deal then i cut it off when the editors tried to fuck with everything.
Now i just do it myself.”
“I’m editting a friends magazine. LV Weekly.”
“No shit?”
The next song started and i looked at her
and she looked at me and smiled
and she began the dance i paid for.
She kept dancing her beautiful soft
voluptuous curves
in front of me,
grinding me,
and then she blew hot air in my ear
and it came out involuntarily I said,
“You’re so beautiful.”
And she smiled and started grinding on my chest
and she looked down on me
with that look of lust in her eyes,
grinding her clitoris against my body.
I got flagrant and ran my hands on her legs.
She whispered, “You’re going to get me in trouble.”
“I know.” I said.
And kept my hands to myself for a little bit.
Damn… i was bulging my shorts
and would you believe
that naughty girl turned around and sat down on it.
I could feel myself in her
and i grabbed her thighs
and dry fucked her.
She started gasping and riding me.
I let go, and she grinded some more
then turned around and
grinded on my torso.
Then the song was over.
My little purchased foreplay moment was over.
“So whats up with your blog?” I asked.
“Give me your email.” She said.
“Alright i need to go get a pen. Where are you going to be?”
“On the otherside. If not there, then in the VIP.”
“For sure.”
She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I went over to the bartender and borrowed a pen
and wrote my email on a napkin
and found her on the otherside
talking to a middleaged couple.
“Hey here’s my email. Hit me up for sure. I gotta bounce.”
“Ok.”
And then i met up with Dave and Eric near the front.
“Are we still waiting for Alex?” I asked.
“Here he comes.”
And we took off.
I thought about scanning the joint one more time with my eyes
but i didn’t want to look back and see that chick
doing her sexy dance for anyone else,
so i just walked out.
“Take it easy my man.” Alex said to Donkey Kong.
“Later dude.” He said with a smile.
Then Alex says to me, “See, he’s the homie now. I just want make friends with everybody.”
After
Josh and D’Rick were waiting for us outside, sipping on some jack and cokes.
We went back to the Golden Nugget and Dave, Eric, and D’Rick caught a cab together
and the rest of us took another.
On the ride home, Alex recounted his exploits…
“You were King of Glitter Gulch bro.” I told him.
“Haha I was. That place is tight!”
I looked out the window over the strip as the cab banked onto the freeway.
“Dude, I can’t believe this fuckers leaving for Indiana tommorow.” Alex says.
“I know. Thats crazy.”
“Yeah. I’m just gonna tell everyone i’m Larry Birds nephew.” Josh says.
We laughed.
“Or i’ll tell them my middle name’s Larry, Josh Larry Bird.”
We laughed. He was going to be a starting pitcher for a major division one university.
Alex was getting sad about it.
“Dude I’m crying bro. My best homie’s going away.”
“…It’s alright to cry man, shows youre not a robot.”
“Heh, you’re right…” He smiled. “Dude we’ve been homies since we were seven.” He says to Josh.
“That’s like me and your brother.” I say.
“Yeah, you and Dave have been homies since way back.”
“You guys just keep playing hard and having fun and you’ll see each other again in the pros for sure.”
“I hope so.” Says Josh.
“Dude, you’re like a big brother to me.”
“Your like a brother to me too.” I say.
Seeing Alex in a mode of pure free joy that night
energized my soul
I never told him that,
but he really did,
like a little brother for sure.
When we got back to NyNy
The three of us went upstairs to get my shit
so we could smoke a blunt back at the Tropicana.
It was 4:30am on the room clock.
Tom was still in bed.
“Hey Tom are you up?” I asked.
“Yeah… what time is it?”
“4:30am.”
“I missed Vegas!”
“Fuck yeah you did.” Eric said, already in the room.
“We just got back from glitter gulch. That shit was a great time.” I say,
and Tom turned over onto his pillow
and moaned…
