i got the warning…
if i keep leaving Red Baron alone crying for freedom,
i get evicted
because my dog is a nuisance to my neighbors.

so if i don’t find him a new home
where does that leave me?
On the streets
using my dog as a pillow.

as futile
as a christian
waiting for the return of Christ
kind of thing,
waiting
for something
that will
not happen
by a miracle,
but through
determined
action.

i wanted to call you
and tell you about it
but thats me
being a tough guy
and not talking to anybody about it;
grieving
for having lost someone i loved
with all my heart.

and since i loved so much
i let him go to
a better life
than i could provide,
having rescued him from
a death camp.

i had to give my dog away.

i’m so heartbroken right now–

I hurt so much right now;

i loved that dog so much
i let him go
just like everything
i ever loved,
i let go of…

i could be a great destroyer
descended from cavemen
and Romans
and Barbarians
and Sicilian mobsters

but i am too filled with compassion.

i emote so sweetly
it makes me cry
when i have
to say goodbye
to my dog,
it makes me ball my fucking eyes out…

i dont want you to know me
i’m fucking
dead to everyone
i dont give a fuck
and am a bottle and a half deep into some red wine
and i could go three
it dont matter to me anymore
all this shit pouring out of me like the sewers of my soul
overflowing from the storm.

it isn’t a dream;
you really exist
here
a
sentient being
born
to live
and die
a blossom
of consciousness
in the
universe.

i need something.

i type with empty hands.

i compare the present
to what i’ve seen.

what i’ve felt
is what i am.

for Bobby A.

(w/beatbox)

uhh
feel the trouble
when i wanna,
i’m a gangsta
wanna be
prankster
like fitty
and thats when i change it up
and chase her,
when i get my lyrics after you
like Jason Vorhees
you’ll be in danger
like skinny dipping
teens
my lyrical flow
stabbing
nonsense
in your mind
with ease,
like poetic
easy cheese
i’ll bust a nut on your cracker–
cracker ass cracker!

like
chewed
up
gum,
sucking
the sweet life out of them
and then spitting them out
a
flavorless
gob
of
chicle.